I'm sorry, but I can't get myself to make someone suddenly have an importance in my life.



Nine - JYJ

That imaginary world I once lived in; Disappeared, destroyed, dead, died.
Like this, I forgot my childhood.


I lied. At least, I think I lied. I don't remember watching Doremon, or some other show with talking animals. I have no memory of ever watching them. The only things I can truly remember were all from the recorded history found in boxes down in my basement. Or the photo albums on the top bookshelf. On my own, I wouldn't know anything about my past.

Once a year, I'll I'd go deep down in the basement; going through my past, the handwritten promises that I made with myself, the imagination that ran across a blank piece of paper, and the letters I sent to an imaginary friend, that I never really expected a response from. And yet, I sat there waiting for an enclosed envelope with my name printed in the center. A letter; perhaps from sister that's been taking care of me all this time. Or a message in a bottle written by the waves of the sea. Maybe even a letter from a loyal dog with thumbs.

I wasn't lonely. It didn't feel lonely. As I waited, I imagined. A sister holding my hand tightly, a sea that I could drown myself in, and a pet dog that would wait for my return after going on some grand adventure in the forest. Like a fairytale, having unrealistic characters.

That sister, will one day let go. That sea, will one day dry up. And that dog, will one day go on his own grand adventure. Like a folktale, that knows the difference between dreams and reality.

In this dream, I am Margaret. The one that wished away his existence, and in this dream, it came true.
In this reality, I am her. The one that wished for his existence, and in this reality, he's disappearing.

It's time to try. No.
Always try.

Because even if you fail, no one's counting your mistakes.
It's time to hold on tight. To make the sky rain. And to ㅡ wait for the dog's return.
While I'm here, I'll work hard, study, fighting! 아자아자.